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DEALING WITH WORRIES

Making the jump from primary school to secondary school can be an exciting but also a daunting time, both for your child... and for you! One thing's for sure - it's the start of a whole new chapter.

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FIRST DAY NERVES

Remember your first day at secondary school? Did you feel a bit lost amongst all those teenagers in the playground and daunted by how big your new school seemed? Then there were all those new subjects to get your head round, the fact that you now have lots of different teachers and, of course, new school mates to try and make friends with... When it is your child's turn to start secondary school, it helps to step back in time and remember all those emotions you felt as you stood in your new school uniform and prepared to make the leap into the great unknown.

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HELPING SOOTHE THOSE BUTTERFLIES 

Listen to their worries and have a think about what you can do to help. Perhaps they're worried about the new bus journey or the walk to school? If so, maybe a few runs in the car to familiarise them with the route will help. Or it might be that they're nervous about making friends, so you should be sure to remind them that everyone will be in the same boat. In many cases, they will be joining the school alongside friends from primary so they won't be 'alone'.

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Whatever fears your child may have, they are all equally valid, so try not to dismiss them. And if you yourself did not have a very positive experience at school, try not to let that influence your child!

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BUILD CONFIDENCE

As your child prepares to enter a new, unknown world of secondary education, there's perhaps never a more important time to nurture their confidence and self-esteem.

• Give praise willingly and often - Concentrate on what they are doing well and let them know how pleased you are with them, then make a concerted effort to work together on the subjects that don't come so naturally to them.

• Devote proper quality time to them in the evenings - take the time out to read their essays or find out what happened in PE today. Did they score a goal in the football game? Don't pin everything solely on academic success - sports and extracurricular activities they have excelled at are equally worthy of praise.

• Emphasise the fact that everyone makes mistakes - if your child has had a bad day and not done so well in something, try not to be critical. The important thing to remind your child of is that sometimes failing at things is part and parcel of life - we can't be wonderful at everything!

• Always give your full attention to your child when they are trying to express their concerns about something - don't brush their anxieties under the carpet and say 'we'll talk about it later...'. Your child will feel you're not taking their problems seriously and may not come to you in the future when they have a problem.

• Encourage their independence and free thinking. Try to provide a stimulating home environment where their opinions on things - from current affairs to pop music - are listened to and integrated into adult conversation. Not only will this help your child to develop good social skills but it will give them a strong sense of self and help them to know their own mind. Remind them of the importance of not blindly 'following the herd'.

• Be there to talk about friendship worries. Your child will be meeting and making all sorts of new friends and sometimes drifting away from their old primary school friendship groups. It's a time of change and it's inevitable that your child will fall in and out of favour with different groups of friends. Assure your child there is nothing 'wrong' with them if they're feeling excluded from the 'in crowd' or are having difficulty forming special friendships. Unfortunately this is one area where children really have to find their own way - and they will in time - be there to listen and support them in the meantime.

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STAYING SAFE AT SCHOOL

You may worry about your child's personal safety at secondary school and it is important to ensure your child knows they can turn to you if they are concerned about anything. Bullying can happen face to face or online (known as cyberbullying), or in any indirect form that makes your child feel uncomfortable. It may happen on or off school premises or on the way to and from school.

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Tell your child that bulling in any form is always wrong and that they can tell you or another adult if it happens to them. Children may find it hard to talk about bullying, but there are signs to look out for that may suggest there is a problem. We have a website dedicated to bullying with lots of information for parents, children and schools. Please visit Bullying UK to access further advice.